Uncover the truth

What upsetting days are going on recently ...
How simply pure sorrow captures my soul .... How vividly I sense it !
..Yeah I sense it better than ever ... I sense the lie ... I sense it all being false ... all being fake ..Something behind their talks, shouts to me : " I am pure Lie ! "

And all those grudges in your throat , nudging against you , striving to find a way out ... to shout ..to shout with its full volume of voice : "For God's sake don't let it go that way ! "...
And all those flags raised in the sky pinches my heart so sharply and leaves me in a disappointed inactivity ... No sign of hope ... no sign of truth ... no sign of respect to humanity !
Go on Man , Go on !
Let all those values be yours ... our goodies have all along been released under your license , as if they never have existed before your birth ! ... the license that's doing his best job in deforming them all ... I fear the day when you end up ruining them ! ...Be careful Man what prices you're giving to buy your stuff ... Take those holy book papers off your swords ... I'm not that stupid day-paid surface-minded one to believe your jokes !

Dear man ! Dear leader !
These days I better feel how it was like for your fathers .. How your father says he would share his complaints with the well ... How painful can it be to live with the dumb ! ... How upsetting might that be to see newly empowered people trying to own all that you once brought to them , taught them and uncovered the ambiguities fatherly ! ... you see it all being stolen from you, firstly deformed, later even ruined , rebuilt in their own favorite ways and brought back to you ! .. Take it or bade farewell to life !
Dear great man ...forgive the rest of our penalty ... It's gonna be fairly unbearable..We're not that strong !
I feel the weight of your glance on me ... end up these never-ending days of your departure ..I plead !

I Regret

Don't say you've forgotten about those days girl !
Don't say you don't recall a a single moment of those stressful moments...all those prayers all in pleads ..all in frustration ! You remember what you wanted the Lord ?! Remember your words?! IF not , I clearly do ! How come you expect the Lord to care about you while you carelessly offend his beloved ones ? I dare say you need a touch of those days again ... just a touch for a remark !
For God's sake be a bit appreciative ... Don't beak that promise ..You deserve much better attitudes ! ..
I regret having been such a nerd..I regret having been this nervy .. this cheeky..I wonder how you still care about me Lord .. How you keep being hopeful !How you still patiently listen at times I tend to talk to you! How come you never happen to say : "Go away! You're driving me nuts!"
If there's a tender heart , be cautious not to crack it by your flipping it ! If you can be of mercy to someone , why to stingily refuse it? That mustn't be the way ...

I'm badly becoming short of words...I feel like all those divine senses have flew away from me ...

Never again Do you ever let someone get hurt by you ! An ultimate warning !

Sailor ...Sail me home ...

It's quit a long time I'm yearning to write to you..Are you still keeping tracks of my life? are you caring about my recent moods? Something assures me yes !

Sailor..! Sail me home ..... Sailor I'm alone...

You see my boat over head on that roaring sea? Oh..yes ..that's it..a bunch of loosely tied together pieces of sticks ,aimlessly floating on that black sea, exhilaratedly watching around in anticipation to see if possibly you turn up from somewhere...If possibly you get on board, telling my poor boat where to head off to ! If you are here , the whole world is here..If you're here, the whole spirit of the world gets poured in my little garden of heart..If you're here, Love turns up again !
Dear Sailor ! These trembling hands no longer can keep the boat in charge..I've lost the map ! My week eyes can no longer recognize the path by staring at those guiding stars! Where have those stars vanished?
You see that breathtaking tornado over head? Ow I fear it sailor..I fear myself..i fear missing you..
How at times I plead it to have you in front of me , telling about the Yes and No's !
Some thing whispers in my ear : " Go back Girl ...Get back to the coast..there's no way in that furious sea..there's no aim ..there's no way! "...But right at that time , another thing reminds me of my goals beyond the sea, of my responsibilities! The obligation that shakes my hands, shakes my whole body .. I vividly sense the weight of it on my trembling shoulders !

Keep me that innocent creature ! Keep me that former sea surfer ! Don't let the severeness of the sea wind scratch on my soul ..Don't let it capture my whole being ! Let me Stay Yours !

Sailor ! Sail me home...Sailor ! I'm alone !

Give me back that divine girl !

Heart-originating words .....

Dear Dear creator ...
Can't turn up my head to stare at your eyes..and what can be worse?
Can't call you in that former hearty manner..and what can be worse ?
Remember those days ?.. me groaning ,moaning ..you caressing me in that usual lovely manner... reassuring me of the things going on so well...at times appearing in my path as if to reconfirm your true friendship... and how I'd fall into wonders at times...How at times I'd start adoring you !!! How I liked our talks ... How i loved being like such a spoilt child, dangling from their parents suits , insisting on having those dolls shining in that luxurious toy store ! ... And you'd buy me that doll as if you wished me to stay your toddler for ever..

But when I happened to learn to walk on my own ... right the time I thought I can buy myself all those lovely sparkling stuff around ... I took my hands off those suits and arrogantly took my own way ...
Go ..gooo ... I'd wish to see if that path is ever gonna reach a destination...


Remembering my beloved piece of poetry : Get back my heart! ..Get back!...This path's story is just too long ... Get back ... I'm badly in need of a heart like you !

Feel much lighter ... heh ... :) seems like you're turning up again ...by the way , would you buy me that doll ? ;)
just never go away ! promise ?.. would you force me not to break my promise too ?! :D .. You're aware of the degree of my being spoilt ! :D

Hearts to You !

These recent days

Hello deari diaries ...

At times when special feelings capture my thought, when in the silence of night i start pondering about the this and that ... when i start reviewing my life , analyzing the events , my manners and attempt to unlock the mysteries of many happening .... i suddenly get recalled about you , my Blog !
i like you as a true listener who patiently listens and cools me down ! thank you buddy , i admire your care and loyalty !

You see how life's going on within these days... mom's on a trip ..and i feel such obligation for the whole house chores.. but anyway i like it.. i like being responsible for such things. I like nurturing my family like the way they nurtured me...i get peaceful vibes the moments i care about them and bestow my love to them.... i admire such dependable father.. sometimes i wonder how i am alike him... we think quite in the same manner !! ... i trill my sister's chattering all the time..telling me about her stupid activities at school ..ha ha...she's such a fun ! at times i hide my laughter from her so that she no longer keep on talking to me for hours... i like mom with all her excitments and trills .. with all her lovely nagging , which i'v got addicted to and cant depart ... i cherish life with its all subtle details... it's all so nice , i dare say !

I've got 2 quizzes tomorrow and 2 midterms by the end of the week , but amazingly no little stress is available within me :D :D ha haaa .... sometimes self confidence over flows.... but seriously something tells me they'll go alright...

I heared strange words from a friend last night ... the side effects are still present ,, but i guess i'v got mature enough to go through such conditions quite skillfully... i'm having my God's hands of supports on my shoulders and i'm more than sure he shall guide me to the right path ! ameen.

Tell that nerve no longer to push against my head !

Little , naughty and at times, bothering nerve !

Would you honestly tell me about the reason why you unreasonably start pushing against my head ?.... What is it that bothers you honey, huh ?? .. you're not bothering about the heart-breaking process you frequently get hunted by, are you ?..ow ! come ON babay ! I thought you were already mature enough to finally find a way to get along with habitual unpleasant events ! :-|

Your inner being seems much younger than your outer's ..though of being apparently mature , how delicately your inner structure falls apart with a tiny strike !

I know you have the right to moan at times, you have the true right to burst into complaints ... you have that right to stand straight and claim your lost voice, But my baby .... Your divine soul will never choose such solutions ... i read that from your eyes ...

... rebuild your being every single time you get ruined! reestablish the fallen bricks , put them up and rearrange them !! you're gonna need yourself for so long a time, you bet ! ;)

Such Hollowness governing around..

Has it ever happened to you to start wondering why life's got so much meaningless for a while? well..that's what i'm like!
I believe there's something missing in my recent life..something i had before, but no longer posses it !... But hardly can figure out what !
What is it that gives meaning to your moments? what is it that colors your seconds and bestows vitality to them?! ..what is it, on the other hand, that stalls your progress, your satisfaction, your motivation to move ahead and ,in brief ,makes you feel something is lost !?... What have i lost ?!
Yeah, when you get down to truly solve the problem, when you exactly write down the question, The answer seems to appear on the spot !
Aren't you just missing yourself ?! Try to have some get to-gathers with her ! she's missing you too! i dare say !

When you pour out words

Dear Dear God !

The day you sent my father down on the Earth, i mean my great great Father Adam, you left him on an empty Earth, untouched ground and native land.. He stood on his feet, hunted on his own, fighted on his own, lived alone and died almost alone...though you were all along with him, picking him off the ground at times he would desperately fall down, pressing your hands against his shoulder to assure him of you support...But , besides all, He was alone !
He was courageous. He trusted your helps being all around ! yup !
How lovely it must be for you Dearie God , to see human stretching their hands towards you !...
I am the daughter of that Early father. His blood's being pumped in my veins... He's whispering voice's still in my ears : " Go ahead girl ! Don't worry..it's all like a game..God puts you on the way, you fear going on alone , but at the end you'll have realized that it's been God himself who's all along been holding your hand, telling you where to put your steps"...i have all these hopes in my small mind, and never ever can stand seeing one has broken his promise !
Don't go away..don't go away...Always be around so that i find you by a little turning my head !

Sweet Youth!

If even once you've happened to drop by a hospital or such places where people with different health conditions are , you've for sure done a huge thanks giving to God for your robust health ! health, the precious gift we hardly treasure !...i happened to realize this just recently when my grand father started suffering from kidney syndrom...it was such horrible days...seeing him suffer..seeing the others grief in his sorrow... he had to stay at the hospital for a couple of days during which i got the chance to have a look on how too many people feel like staying in hospitals..i saw too many young people , laying in shoulder-to-shoulder beds, getting dialysis !
fortunately , he got back home feeling much better , just under one upsetting condition that he's got to get dialysis twice a week !

Saying all those stuff was merely a remark !
i personally , at times, start to ponder if i'm using up my youth days well enough to keep being proud even if once upon a time i happen to lose all of it ?... such thoughts yields into getting into deeeeeeeeeepppp physiological thoughts i hardly can find a way out of it !! ... a must-to-be feature of youth ! huh ?

when there's no start , the would be no end either.... ! ..so what ever the end would be , i'd rather start before it's a bit too late !
yeah life ! fasten your seat belt ! i love you, i appriciate every single moment of you , and i'll live you ..live you.... i waana go up to pick all those shining things twinking at me up in the sky!!

That's where i begin

In most cases people find writing an interesting as well as a relaxing hobby, so the same is with me !
At times, when the mood of writing from-the-heart lines happens to dawn on you, perhaps you'll find blogging a cool activity !

The view above is the one i got today, from the top of my university faculty building, we had the view of the whole city,Tehran, beneath ourselves !