Friday, January 15, 2010
It's quite appreciable to see these sensations turning up in me after so long a time ... The lovely vibes that used to abound in me in the past years but tended to gradually vanish as time went on.
Yeah , those glorious days .. Those heart-lifting moments ... Now that i'm writing these lines i clearly sense those feelings with the whole of my heart ... huh .. Remember that piece of paper sticking on the wall for all those years ? , Sure i remember it word by word !
"I am the happiest and luckiest girl in the word
Every on looks up to me and admires me
I am full of positive energy
My future's going to shine ...... "
I had it on my wall for long long time .. Even at spring cleanings i'd formerly warn mom not to ruin the paper by splashing water on it .. i'd sensitively take it off before the cleanings and put it back after that ..
Every day when i'd proudly get up to start another shining day, those encouraging lines on my wall would more enrich me with that historical hope ... heh ..I had a chemistry teacher who once told me : " I wonder about such strong confidence in you! "
nowadays if i ever happen to be captured with that lovely hope , i indeed must cherish it a world ; since they come so scarcely ! ... and tonight is one of those rare nights ! :) i unreasonably see future waiting for me to hug ! I'm recalled of that repetitive sentence : "The future's so bright that burns my eyes " ... I mustn't take all such glorious past for granted and let bygones be bygone .. NO ! bygones are to promise To-comes ! :D ... Had it not been for that compassionate Lord , I never would ever have reached the state i'm now in ! ... it is ungrateful of me to close my eyes at whatever of blessings that has so far been through my life and merely care for the ungranteds ! .. It is not something off the wall to see yourself excel in whatever you embark on ,out of scratch ! ... Something's murmuring in me : "The Lord who first suggested you this path , will indeed be of complete guidance.. Trust the signs and just go on !"
yeah .. maybe i should look for that paper and again stick it on the wall .. or even come up with writing a new one !
You know , when man steps the road of his life , the stones and thorns in his way appear ineffective at first ...His feet are strong and not yet have been hurt by the pebbles ... So he puts on walking on them; nose in the air ... But as the road is more passed , pebbles rise in number , feet get less potent and difficulties turn up ...
Yes ! " Your cup may overflow " ! , the sentence i heard as the answer to "What's wrong?" ...
You know when one's cup may overflow? ... in your journey on the road , when the stones on the ground have cruelly hurt your feet and your heart pleads to you to stop for a sec to take fresh air , watch out that the level of your cup is rising up .. Stop dude ! Stop for a sec and for Goodness's sake let that poor mind be at rest! always leave the safe distance from the top of the cup ! : ) if not , you cup surely overflows !..and if it happens , long will take to make it up !
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
To my Dear Father ...
Dear Dear Father !
Happy your fortunate birthday ... I'd love the day in which you stepped the world ...
You're the most stalwart , wise, dependable and heart warming human I ever faced !
The flowers above are the birthday gift , my grandmom gave his son !! I admire this motherly affection after these many years ...
I love the narcissus more than all ! .... Narges flowers as we say !
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Hi Dear Lord ,
It's again me ... tired of the daily affairs , somewhat puzzled ...somewhat confused about the philosophy of some matters in life .. with hundreds of thousands of wishes in my backpack, hoping to get somewhere to unpack! .... and It's again you , patiently listening and smiling at my fool words ! :)
Yeah, It's of no wonder ! You said yourself :"Human is created to be hasty!" .. and I'm the daughter of that early Adam, no more than a human being , and consequently "I am in a haste " ... How possibly can i not be in a haste ... pray say how many years will i be honored to live ? ... How many years shall i keep on having this sharp mind , this fresh soul ? How much time will i have for myself to let this mind grow, to let this spirit flourish ? ... You'll admit :"a little indeed " ... So i Do have the right to be hasty !
Today when grand pa returned from the hospital , a weird sense restlessly started turning up in my heart ! ... a mixture of happiness and sorrow ! ... happiness for having him back ..sorrow in wondering about the cheapness of life ! He's been laboring for his family's comfort a whole life , and now we all see him weaken in front of our eyes .... It's not strange though .. Many of you would say :"That's been the way it's always has been !" ...But to me , it's not something I take for granted ! ... It's something that takes me to a deeeeep thought :
"Where are we heading off to ? ... what are we all striving for in our attempts ? ..Have we clearly set or ends , our goals .. or aimlessly just going ahead ? .." ... And consequently i reach to the same point i started the post form ..."I am in a haste to reach the goals you set for me Lord ! I've not got much time ! "
We got born lonely , live lonely and shall die lonely too ....
Today i asked mom :"Mom ! Suppose some one dies , will she or he sense what the hell is going on inside the grave ... ? " .. And she answered me affirmatively though in an ambiguous manner. And I feared ! .. I feared all being so alone ... all such terrifying destination...Ow No Lord .. i doubt there's gonna be such sad end for the story ... Your novel deserves to have got much better scenarios ..I'm more than sure , you're directing the film the way that's best !
Tonight i dont feel like finishing this post ... It's like i wanna go on writing and writing and writing .. Telling you about what's going on inside this lost spirit ... ! Yeah , my spirit is lost ... it's been taken into a thousand of parts ! Put me in the right way Lord !