Thursday, January 7, 2010
Lord ! ... i've got no title !
Hi Dear Lord ,
It's again me ... tired of the daily affairs , somewhat puzzled ...somewhat confused about the philosophy of some matters in life .. with hundreds of thousands of wishes in my backpack, hoping to get somewhere to unpack! .... and It's again you , patiently listening and smiling at my fool words ! :)
Yeah, It's of no wonder ! You said yourself :"Human is created to be hasty!" .. and I'm the daughter of that early Adam, no more than a human being , and consequently "I am in a haste " ... How possibly can i not be in a haste ... pray say how many years will i be honored to live ? ... How many years shall i keep on having this sharp mind , this fresh soul ? How much time will i have for myself to let this mind grow, to let this spirit flourish ? ... You'll admit :"a little indeed " ... So i Do have the right to be hasty !
Today when grand pa returned from the hospital , a weird sense restlessly started turning up in my heart ! ... a mixture of happiness and sorrow ! ... happiness for having him back ..sorrow in wondering about the cheapness of life ! He's been laboring for his family's comfort a whole life , and now we all see him weaken in front of our eyes .... It's not strange though .. Many of you would say :"That's been the way it's always has been !" ...But to me , it's not something I take for granted ! ... It's something that takes me to a deeeeep thought :
"Where are we heading off to ? ... what are we all striving for in our attempts ? ..Have we clearly set or ends , our goals .. or aimlessly just going ahead ? .." ... And consequently i reach to the same point i started the post form ..."I am in a haste to reach the goals you set for me Lord ! I've not got much time ! "
We got born lonely , live lonely and shall die lonely too ....
Today i asked mom :"Mom ! Suppose some one dies , will she or he sense what the hell is going on inside the grave ... ? " .. And she answered me affirmatively though in an ambiguous manner. And I feared ! .. I feared all being so alone ... all such terrifying destination...Ow No Lord .. i doubt there's gonna be such sad end for the story ... Your novel deserves to have got much better scenarios ..I'm more than sure , you're directing the film the way that's best !
Tonight i dont feel like finishing this post ... It's like i wanna go on writing and writing and writing .. Telling you about what's going on inside this lost spirit ... ! Yeah , my spirit is lost ... it's been taken into a thousand of parts ! Put me in the right way Lord !